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Tuesday, May 24, 2011
Tatooine Style Coming to Earth?!
Tuesday, January 4, 2011
WORST FIRST DATE STORY EVER
(Thanks to Kellie...)
If you didn't see this on the Tonight show, I hope you're sitting down when you read it. This is probably the funniest date story ever, first date or not!!! We have all had bad dates but this takes the cake.
Jay Leno went into the audience to find the most embarrassing first date that a woman ever had. The winner described her worst first date experience.
There was absolutely no question as to why her tale took the prize!
She said it was midwinter...Snowing and quite cold... and the guy had taken her skiing in the mountains outside Salt Lake City , Utah .. It was a day trip (no overnight). They were strangers, after all, and had never met before. The outing was fun but relatively uneventful until they were headed home late that afternoon..
They were driving back down the mountain, when she gradually began to realize that she should not have had that extra latte. They were about an hour away from anywhere with a rest room and in the middle of nowhere! Her companion suggested she try to hold it, which she did for a while. Unfortunately, because of the heavy snow and slow going, there came a point where she told him that he had better stop and let her go beside the road, or it would be the front seat of his car.
They stopped and she quickly crawled out beside the car, yanked her pants down and started. In the deep snow she didn't have good footing, so she let her butt rest against the rear fender to steady herself..
Her companion stood on the side of the car watching for traffic and indeed was a real gentleman and refrained from peeking.. All she could think about was the relief she felt despite the rather embarrassing nature of the situation.
Upon finishing however, she soon became aware of another sensation. As she bent to pull up her pants, the young lady discovered her buttocks were firmly glued against the car's fender. Thoughts of tongues frozen to poles immediately came to mind as she attempted to disengage her flesh from the icy metal. It was quickly apparent that she had a brand new problem, due to the extreme cold.
Horrified by her plight and yet aware of the humor of the moment, she answered her date's concerns about' what is taking so long' with a reply that indeed, she was 'freezing her butt off' and in need of some assistance!
He came around the car as she tried to cover herself with her sweater and then, as she looked imploringly into his eyes, he burst out laughing. She too, got the giggles and when they finally managed to compose themselves, they assessed her dilemma. Obviously, as hysterical as the situation was, they also were faced with a real problem.
Both agreed it would take something hot to free her chilly cheeks from the grip of the icy metal! Thinking about what had gotten her into the predicament in the first place, both quickly realized that there was only one way to get her free. So, as she looked the other way, her first time date proceeded to unzip his pants and pee her butt off the fender.
As the audience screamed in laughter, she took the Tonight Show prize hands down. Or perhaps that should be 'pants down. 'And you thought your first date was embarrassing. Jay Leno's omment...'This gives a whole new meaning to being pissed off.'
Oh and how did the first date turn out? He became her husband and was sitting next to her on the Leno show.
If you laughed at this pass it on.
If you didn't see this on the Tonight show, I hope you're sitting down when you read it. This is probably the funniest date story ever, first date or not!!! We have all had bad dates but this takes the cake.
Jay Leno went into the audience to find the most embarrassing first date that a woman ever had. The winner described her worst first date experience.
There was absolutely no question as to why her tale took the prize!
She said it was midwinter...Snowing and quite cold... and the guy had taken her skiing in the mountains outside Salt Lake City , Utah .. It was a day trip (no overnight). They were strangers, after all, and had never met before. The outing was fun but relatively uneventful until they were headed home late that afternoon..
They were driving back down the mountain, when she gradually began to realize that she should not have had that extra latte. They were about an hour away from anywhere with a rest room and in the middle of nowhere! Her companion suggested she try to hold it, which she did for a while. Unfortunately, because of the heavy snow and slow going, there came a point where she told him that he had better stop and let her go beside the road, or it would be the front seat of his car.
They stopped and she quickly crawled out beside the car, yanked her pants down and started. In the deep snow she didn't have good footing, so she let her butt rest against the rear fender to steady herself..
Her companion stood on the side of the car watching for traffic and indeed was a real gentleman and refrained from peeking.. All she could think about was the relief she felt despite the rather embarrassing nature of the situation.
Upon finishing however, she soon became aware of another sensation. As she bent to pull up her pants, the young lady discovered her buttocks were firmly glued against the car's fender. Thoughts of tongues frozen to poles immediately came to mind as she attempted to disengage her flesh from the icy metal. It was quickly apparent that she had a brand new problem, due to the extreme cold.
Horrified by her plight and yet aware of the humor of the moment, she answered her date's concerns about' what is taking so long' with a reply that indeed, she was 'freezing her butt off' and in need of some assistance!
He came around the car as she tried to cover herself with her sweater and then, as she looked imploringly into his eyes, he burst out laughing. She too, got the giggles and when they finally managed to compose themselves, they assessed her dilemma. Obviously, as hysterical as the situation was, they also were faced with a real problem.
Both agreed it would take something hot to free her chilly cheeks from the grip of the icy metal! Thinking about what had gotten her into the predicament in the first place, both quickly realized that there was only one way to get her free. So, as she looked the other way, her first time date proceeded to unzip his pants and pee her butt off the fender.
As the audience screamed in laughter, she took the Tonight Show prize hands down. Or perhaps that should be 'pants down. 'And you thought your first date was embarrassing. Jay Leno's omment...'This gives a whole new meaning to being pissed off.'
Oh and how did the first date turn out? He became her husband and was sitting next to her on the Leno show.
If you laughed at this pass it on.
Wednesday, April 29, 2009
#1 Draft Pick
Matthew Stafford is now a Detroit Lion...and I don't have a NFL team. I hated the Falcons before the Vic scandal. I guess I'm gonna have to start watching Detriot...Go Lions!!!
"The Stafford deal is the richest given to a draft choice in history, topping the five-year, $57.5 million contract the Dolphins gave to tackle Jake Long last season, and the six-year, $72 million contract Matt Ryan received from the Atlanta Falcons."
"The Stafford deal is the richest given to a draft choice in history, topping the five-year, $57.5 million contract the Dolphins gave to tackle Jake Long last season, and the six-year, $72 million contract Matt Ryan received from the Atlanta Falcons."
Monday, April 27, 2009
The Moon and Beyond
I'm so glad to be done with my Capstone project!
Title of work: The Moon and Beyond
Student's name: Summer Weirich
Student's major: Science, Society & Technology and Elementary Education
Artist's Statement:
I adapted a portion of the Seeds of Science/Roots of Reading curriculum to be more technology based. This web-based curriculum is to be used in tandem with classroom instruction to aid 4th-5th grade students in learning Astronomy. I predict that this website will decrease the cognitive load for students and that the simulations will aid students in fully synthesizing the information they are presented with. My next step is to conduct research to test my web-based curriculum in an elementary classroom in the Fall of 2009.
Title of work: The Moon and Beyond
Student's name: Summer Weirich
Student's major: Science, Society & Technology and Elementary Education
Artist's Statement:
I adapted a portion of the Seeds of Science/Roots of Reading curriculum to be more technology based. This web-based curriculum is to be used in tandem with classroom instruction to aid 4th-5th grade students in learning Astronomy. I predict that this website will decrease the cognitive load for students and that the simulations will aid students in fully synthesizing the information they are presented with. My next step is to conduct research to test my web-based curriculum in an elementary classroom in the Fall of 2009.
Friday, April 3, 2009
What is art?
The site I am talking about here is http://howmuchitcosts.us/ by digital artist, Michael Mandiberg.
I really don't think that a site like this should be called art per se, but then again...what is art? There's a fine line these days in defining what is and what isn't considered "art." I feel like this is a question that often arises and I couldn't tell you my exact definition of art.
Oxford American Dictionaries (widget) defines art as "the expression or application of human creative skill and imagination, typically in a visual form such as painting or sculpture, producing works to be appreciated primarily for their beauty or emotional power."
I guess this can convey emotional power, but it doesn't to me, it leads me to frustration. I thought it was a swell concept, but I didn't get the full effect because of broken links sending me error messages such as "Price of Fuel: $error per gallon; Cost of Trip: $0.00" Yeah...that gets me interested in C02 emissions...not. Click, new site! The site COULD be used as a tool if it worked, but it doesn't.
I'm not saying that I don't respect sites like these, but I just don't think they are "art." It's the age long debate...I think the definition of art will be forever changing and forever disputed. I mean really anything can be art, but at the same type a lot of things that people consider art I (along with many others) don't.
A site that I like that doesn't have as much of a political message to send as Michael Mandiberg's site is this one:
http://www.publicearth.com/signup
Public Earth can be considered art, but then again I see this site more as a tool as well. Then again the aforementioned dictionary describes the word tool as "a device or implement, esp. one held in the hand, used to carry out a particular function." So a calculator is a tool, but now we have calculators on computers, some of which can not be held in one's hand...and computers don't just have ONE particular function. So maybe a computer is a tool? A multi-tool? Art? I mean, hey...somebody (rather many people and machines) created the computer...and it could send an emotional message...
Ambiguity is the term of the century:
"Uncertainty or inexactness of meaning in language."
I really don't think that a site like this should be called art per se, but then again...what is art? There's a fine line these days in defining what is and what isn't considered "art." I feel like this is a question that often arises and I couldn't tell you my exact definition of art.
Oxford American Dictionaries (widget) defines art as "the expression or application of human creative skill and imagination, typically in a visual form such as painting or sculpture, producing works to be appreciated primarily for their beauty or emotional power."
I guess this can convey emotional power, but it doesn't to me, it leads me to frustration. I thought it was a swell concept, but I didn't get the full effect because of broken links sending me error messages such as "Price of Fuel: $error per gallon; Cost of Trip: $0.00" Yeah...that gets me interested in C02 emissions...not. Click, new site! The site COULD be used as a tool if it worked, but it doesn't.
I'm not saying that I don't respect sites like these, but I just don't think they are "art." It's the age long debate...I think the definition of art will be forever changing and forever disputed. I mean really anything can be art, but at the same type a lot of things that people consider art I (along with many others) don't.
A site that I like that doesn't have as much of a political message to send as Michael Mandiberg's site is this one:
http://www.publicearth.com/signup
Public Earth can be considered art, but then again I see this site more as a tool as well. Then again the aforementioned dictionary describes the word tool as "a device or implement, esp. one held in the hand, used to carry out a particular function." So a calculator is a tool, but now we have calculators on computers, some of which can not be held in one's hand...and computers don't just have ONE particular function. So maybe a computer is a tool? A multi-tool? Art? I mean, hey...somebody (rather many people and machines) created the computer...and it could send an emotional message...
Ambiguity is the term of the century:
"Uncertainty or inexactness of meaning in language."
Friday, February 13, 2009
material memories
as i was reading this essay [material memories: time and the cinematic image by paul d. miller (dj spooky)], i was walking down 9th street to get my car from the bars. this article gave me deja vu many times, but not in a freaky way...in a comforting way. this summer i would walk down to pearl street to retrieve my car after a night on the town and it's what got me up in the morning, what really got me started on my day. walking this morning i felt like belle from beauty and the beast walking through the town in the morning:
[Townsfolk]
Look there she goes that girl is so peculiar
I wonder if she's feeling well
With a dreamy far-off look
And her nose stuck in a book
What a puzzle to the rest of us is Belle
[Belle]
Oh, isn't this amazing?
It's my fav'rite part because you'll see
Here's where she meets Prince Charming
But she won't discover that it's him 'til chapter three
when i was a kid, my mom used to play piano scores from disney movies while i sang the lyrics. i have an especially fond memory of this one as my sister, chelsea, and i would walk in circles around the living room with our noses "stuck in a book" as we sang this one.
as i was reading Miller's article i felt as if i was in my own "montage of attractions," in my mind there was a soundtrack to every moment, a new thought from every line i read. i couldn't completely re-create it, but it's just as miller describes:
"a world which...was becoming increasingly inter-connected, and filled with stories of distant lands, times and places -- a place where cross-cutting allowed the presentation not only of parallel actions occurring simultaneously in separate dimensions, but also parallel actions occurring on separate temporal planes."
as i reached my car, i started him up and the song came on, "i like it rough" by lady gaga:
‘Cus it’s a hard life,
with love in the world
And I'm a hard girl
Lovin' me's like straightening curls
You got me wondering why I-
I like it rough,
I-I like it rough,
I-I like it rough
You got me wondering why I-
I like it rough,
I-I like it rough,
I-I like it rough
the montage continues. nights of sake bombs and painting with my girl caitlin, driving around atlanta in my high school days blasting music in my little ford explorer with the words on the back window...
"Get in, Sit down, Shut up, and Hang on!"
i felt like i was in a remix of my own life. dj pat a (my snowboard coach) quite possible turning the tables while i traveled through time on my own accord. as any dj would agree, dj spooky (miller) points out:
"it's all about selection of sound as narrative."
as i read the words on the page, the songs in my head changed, the film clips in my montage evolved through time, and i didn't feel like i was in boulder anymore. i was breathing the cold air, with cold hands clinging to my book i had so many thoughts going through my head but i could travel through them comfortably as i traveled through time in an amazing way.
"time is invention, or it is nothing at all..."
-- Gilles Deleuze, Movement-Image
what is reality? what are memories? what is time? and i was left thinking with one thought that starts yet another montage as i travel through time, i'm feeling as lost/insignificant and as enlightened/special as the first time i saw the matrix...as morpheus asks neo:
"Do you think that's air you're breathing in here?"
i agree with ashley "The feeling of a film is influenced by the way time is regulated within it. At least, I think that's what the author is saying. Time influences format." i also would like to add that format influences time. the way the cinematographer portrays reality influences the way i am feeling and how the essence of time presents itself upon me at that very given moment.
in referring to the two million fiber bundles of nerves that stream data from the eyes to the brain, miller leaves me with on last thought to marinate in,
"any shift in the traffic of information...can create...not only new thoughts, but new ways of thinking."
[Townsfolk]
Look there she goes that girl is so peculiar
I wonder if she's feeling well
With a dreamy far-off look
And her nose stuck in a book
What a puzzle to the rest of us is Belle
[Belle]
Oh, isn't this amazing?
It's my fav'rite part because you'll see
Here's where she meets Prince Charming
But she won't discover that it's him 'til chapter three
when i was a kid, my mom used to play piano scores from disney movies while i sang the lyrics. i have an especially fond memory of this one as my sister, chelsea, and i would walk in circles around the living room with our noses "stuck in a book" as we sang this one.
as i was reading Miller's article i felt as if i was in my own "montage of attractions," in my mind there was a soundtrack to every moment, a new thought from every line i read. i couldn't completely re-create it, but it's just as miller describes:
"a world which...was becoming increasingly inter-connected, and filled with stories of distant lands, times and places -- a place where cross-cutting allowed the presentation not only of parallel actions occurring simultaneously in separate dimensions, but also parallel actions occurring on separate temporal planes."
as i reached my car, i started him up and the song came on, "i like it rough" by lady gaga:
‘Cus it’s a hard life,
with love in the world
And I'm a hard girl
Lovin' me's like straightening curls
You got me wondering why I-
I like it rough,
I-I like it rough,
I-I like it rough
You got me wondering why I-
I like it rough,
I-I like it rough,
I-I like it rough
the montage continues. nights of sake bombs and painting with my girl caitlin, driving around atlanta in my high school days blasting music in my little ford explorer with the words on the back window...
"Get in, Sit down, Shut up, and Hang on!"
i felt like i was in a remix of my own life. dj pat a (my snowboard coach) quite possible turning the tables while i traveled through time on my own accord. as any dj would agree, dj spooky (miller) points out:
"it's all about selection of sound as narrative."
as i read the words on the page, the songs in my head changed, the film clips in my montage evolved through time, and i didn't feel like i was in boulder anymore. i was breathing the cold air, with cold hands clinging to my book i had so many thoughts going through my head but i could travel through them comfortably as i traveled through time in an amazing way.
"time is invention, or it is nothing at all..."
-- Gilles Deleuze, Movement-Image
what is reality? what are memories? what is time? and i was left thinking with one thought that starts yet another montage as i travel through time, i'm feeling as lost/insignificant and as enlightened/special as the first time i saw the matrix...as morpheus asks neo:
"Do you think that's air you're breathing in here?"
i agree with ashley "The feeling of a film is influenced by the way time is regulated within it. At least, I think that's what the author is saying. Time influences format." i also would like to add that format influences time. the way the cinematographer portrays reality influences the way i am feeling and how the essence of time presents itself upon me at that very given moment.
in referring to the two million fiber bundles of nerves that stream data from the eyes to the brain, miller leaves me with on last thought to marinate in,
"any shift in the traffic of information...can create...not only new thoughts, but new ways of thinking."
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